Forgiveness is hard to come by, especially when life has already dealt you badly. The Oxford dictionary defines forgiveness as “the act or process of forgiveness or forgiveness”. It is usually asked for another by one person when they have hurt or hurt, knowingly or unknowingly.
In a powerful TEDx talk, writer and storyteller Sarah Montana shared her life changing experience trying to forgive someone who was responsible for two deaths in her family – her mother and brother.
She recorded how she imagined bad circumstances to come across the man. He was serving a life sentence when Sarah decided to go down the path of forgiveness, but couldn’t find any help. Realizing how many human rights abuses happen in prisons, she concluded that her family’s killer is suffering enough already.
She talked about what motivated her, what made her seek forgiveness. “For me it was for all three reasons. I want to be a good person, I love to please other people, and I hate the vulnerable, angry, messy, healing crap. But it turns out that forgiveness is such a powerful force that none of those reasons were strong enough to sustain it. “
She clarified: “Just like love. If your motivation is selfish, even a good selfish thing like healing, it will collapse like a dying star. “
She later added, “So why? Why forgive It cannot heal you; it won’t save you or the other person; it can’t make you a good person – at least not all by yourself – because that’s not what forgiveness is for. Forgiveness should set you free. “
“Real forgiveness must let go of all expectations. You cannot expect a specific result. You can’t accept them to answer. You can’t even expect to know who you are going to be on the other side. Forgiveness is really difficult. It is one of those tools that is only used properly when we are just healed to the point that we have nothing left to lose. If you’re still bleeding in pain, it’s too early to forgive. If you can’t roll up your sleeve and show me your scars and tell me exactly what happened to you, it’s too early to forgive. But it’s never too late to let go of your villains and take back yourself, ”said Sarah.
She concluded by saying, “And when you are ready to let go of everything – the sadness, the pain, the anger, the trauma – and you are open to finding out who you are instead of always trying to prove yourself, me To be honest, this forgiveness hype is legitimate! “
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